Because I’m a Nice Guy(TM): aka Creepy Asshole in Disguise.
Replace entire pie with “Because I’m a freaking misogynist who thinks all women owe me something…” There, I fixed it.
IF YOU ARE ONLY NICE TO SOMEONE SO YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH THEM, YOU ARE NOT A NICE PERSON.
So the nice guys dont actually go “after” the girl is the thing. They are there for when you cry but people see that as a friend thing to do. They watch your chick flick and sit at home a listen to you. But those are all nice things that friends do. The nice guy doesnt come on to you most the time becasue he doesnt want to be “that” type of guy. I feel like many women only notice the assholes they seem to get with and never think of those 50 nice guy friends they have or the ones that seemed to like them but didnt give a shot.
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.Great tribute bro it really brought a tear to my eye. You really told those manipulative bitches who won’t sleep with you what’s up.
Gods. I used to think I was a “nice guy”. But I also had never been in a seriously intimate relationship with anyone at that point. So I thought I was doing something wrong, and I couldn’t figure out why all of these girls I knew were spending so much time with me complaining about their guys. What could I have done to change all that? ‘I’m not this guy, so I’ve got to be better than what you’ve got right now, right?’
Wrong.
I was the problem. Devoting all of this time being nice to girls and expecting something out of it, and that’s not how it works but sometimes we don’t understand that. So I stopped expecting anything to come of it. I didn’t change how I acted, I simply dropped my expectations. These girls were friends, and I had stopped looking at them as anything other than friends. So I changed that. I stopped expecting them to realize my actions, and just let all of that go. I stopped being so stressed out about why nothing was happening, and started just being myself and letting things go where they wished.
So if you think you’re a nice guy and you deserve something for your trouble, you’re looking at this the wrong way, dude. There’s nothing wrong with being friends with women and nothing more. There’s no reason you should expect anything from them that you wouldn’t expect from any of your other friends. Someday you’ll realize this, and you’ll stop trying to get something out of what should be a mutual human friendship.
Now, for this guy up here talking about a tribute to nice guys. “From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.” 1. Watch your goddamn mouth, and grow the fuck up. You’re the one who sounds like an illogical, manipulative bitch. There are other reasons to be nice to another person than getting in their pants, unless of course you happen to be a worthless shitfuck. And also, if you could bring yourself to overcome your own shitfuckness and grow up, you wouldn’t have sounded to goddamn bitter.
Jesus fuck me with a combine Christ.
/rant
I completely agree! I also want to add that I am a nice guy, but not a “Nice Guy,” not anymore. Nice Guys are too stubborn to realize that if something isn’t working, make a change or keep punching that brick wall. That’s what being that “Nice Guy” is like, the girl will NOT move towards a “Nice Guy” because they can’t- no won’t make a move! They just keep being nice and nice and nice AND NICE AND NICE! Punch that brick wall or blow it the FUCK up with CONFIDENCE.
